Do you find it difficult to say ‘no’? Is it hard for you to say ‘no’ to someone without having to justify it? Does the phrase ‘people pleaser’ resonate with you?
If so, WELCOME & please keep reading.
Everyday we wake up with a certain amount of time and energy, it’s up to us to choose how to utilize it. These choices can either support or undermine your own happiness.
Saying ‘no’ has been one of the most difficult, but most beneficial, game changing, life skills I’ve practiced the last two years. As a result I am more confident, happier, less stressed, and more productive.
We tend to think our identities are based on other’s acceptance or opinions of us. As a result, ‘No’ is portrayed negatively and is associated with being a bad person, unkind, lazy, and overwhelmed.
An old Swedish proverb says, “worry gives small things a big shadow.” Pull away those small things, and you’ll find the fears and associations around our identities are unveiled as just FEELINGS. Feelings are not facts.
Now, let’s look at the facts. The REAL, physical, tangible, negative consequences of piling on responsibilities, un-wanted plans, and promises: stress, exhaustion, anxiety, guilt, fearing judgements, and just not taking care of ourselves.
Here’s the key & what you NEED to remember when starting the practice of saying ‘no’: To contribute to the world and be helpful to others you first need to be the best you can be.
How can we expect ourself to be Super Woman when our body, mind & soul is screaming for protection and alignment? Choose your priorities are and point your energy toward them. that is EMPOWERING, that is FREEDOM, that is SELF-RESPECT, and that is TAKING CHARGE. You’ll find that unapologetically saying ‘no’ will lead you to even more ‘yeses.’
MINDFULLY SARAH STORY TIME:
Last Thursday, I found myself in a predicament: to say yes or no to pressured social plans. My team at work planned a last minute happy hour. While everyone was getting hyped for a cocktail, I nicely told the team I couldn’t join. I didn’t give any reasoning, but I had prearranged a 6pm cycling class that night, and decided that on that specific night, my class took priority over social interaction. It was a gut instinct and that’s what resonated with me that night (if it was another night it could’ve been the opposite!)
Was I questioned about my plans and pressured a little by my coworkers to ditch my plans for happy hour? Sure! But, I made a decision that I’m not going to do things for the soul purpose of pleasing other people. The next day I felt refreshed, calm, present, and ended up being free and grabbing drinks with co-workers that night instead.