Have you ever had an un-explainable moment where something or someone suddenly appeared in your life at the right time?
This happened to me last week, someone from my past reappeared in my life after three years of not communicating. It was my ex-boyfriend – for the purpose of this post we’ll call him ‘John’.
John & I broke up after graduating college in 2014. I wasn’t prepared to take the next step in our relationship as I was focusing on my career, stuck in a hidden battle with an ED, and felt tremendous guilt, shame, & unworthiness about myself. Nothing BAD happened to end our relationship. Honestly, he was the most supportive and kind man I’ve ever been with, but the timing was off and I think we both needed to work on ourselves before diving into a another stage of our story. The saddest thing though, is that our relationship came to a halt the day I moved back home. I pretty much cut off all communication. In-turn, we blocked each other on social media, deleted each other’s numbers, and never spoke again. I dove into my career a week later and never looked back.
A year later, I started working on my journey to become the best version of myself. With this came confidence, more energy, and recovering from my ED. Two years later (so a few weeks ago) I started thinking more about love, relationships, my past, and femininity. I dated here & there, but John kept popping up; feelings of guilt, sadness, but also happiness around the amazing memories. I talked to my therapist about it, started journaling, looking at old pictures, listening to relationship & love podcasts …. You get the jist.
Then, on vacation a week ago, I’m sunbathing and get an Instagram DM from John. “Hey Lady. Can we talk?” it said. To say my didn’t heart skipped a beat would be a lie. Long story short, nothing was wrong or nothing really sparked him reaching out. In his words: he “didn’t think about it too much, [he] just woke up one day and thought of me and felt like he was ready to reach out. For some reason it just felt like something he had to do”. We’ve FaceTimed twice since then. It’s mind boggling and exciting. Three years have passed and we’re both exactly where we need to be. We’ve grown and developed in the areas that were lacking when we were together.
Maybe it’s true. Maybe, every chance encounter serves a greater purpose and, whether we know it or not – everything does happen for a reason. I always knew John did not just randomly appear in my life, there was a reason behind all of it. The timing of when we met, length of our relationship, and our re-connection. The people and energy we choose to surround ourselves with shapes us in ways that wouldn’t have developed without their presence.
The timing of when people come into our lives is so incredibly important. It’s crazy to me how three WHOLE years have gone by without a single word. I honestly didn’t know if John and I would ever speak again. The fact we’ve reconnected within weeks of myself internalizing my progress proves to me that it’s a direct manifestation of where we’re both focusing our energy and attention.
I just feel like every person in our lives is meant to serve some sort of purpose; whether it’s a lesson, to help us figure out who we are or who we want to become.
The only regret I feel when looking back is how I used to cut relationships & friendships so suddenly. I don’t know what will happen with John, but I know our relationship has made a big impact on my life and it’s taught me to never be too quick in removing someone from my life. If you start believing that there is some meaning behind the interactions in your life, then you may approaching people as more kind, patient, and loving.
“In this world, there are no coincidences, only the inevitable”
“Some people pass through our lives for a season to teach us lessons that could never be learned if they stayed.” – Mandy Hale