As a mid-twenties gal, one of the most important aspects of my life is my friendships and connections. I am extremely grateful to be surrounded by emotionally intelligent, honest, loving, knowledgeable, kind-hearted, and wise women.
These group of ladies are diverse, range from 21-50+ years old, some are married, some single. A few have similar backgrounds and goals as myself, and others are on a completely different track. They don’t all know each other; but the similarity between them is that, as Tony Robbins would say, they’re all hungry for something.
“The one common denominator of all successful people is their hunger to push through their fears” Tony Robbins
Have you ever felt as though your social life has dwindled from what it used to be? I felt that lonely lull after college: lost touch, friends moved, different priorities, etc. After a year-ish I couldn’t wait for a new friend to come knock on my door any longer, I knew I needed to dedicate time and effort into cultivating new friendships and strengthening my old ones.
Now, I will admit, it helps that one of my core values is Community. I flourish when I am in an environment where I meet new people, part of a team, and have the opportunity to help others.
If you’re looking to expand your friendship circle, reconnect with friends from the past, or just strengthen your current relationships, see my tips below!
- Know Your Worth: You need to learn to accept yourself and believe you’re worthy of friendship. This was the #1 game changer for me. Once I learned to love myself, I started attracting people with similar core values (like that hunger I spoke of before). I also found it easier to have conversations, talk about myself, and openly discuss my opinions/likes/dislikes.
- Try to Have a Diverse Set of Friends: Let’s be real, we tend to gravitate towards those who are similar to us. While this is great – it’s also great to surround yourself with a mix of people who share your values/habits/personality traits, as well as those who don’t.
- Would You Hang Out With You? If you’re sitting on the couch everyday, binge watching episode after episode of that Netflix show (note: not always a bad thing, I am guilty of this 1-2 nights of the week), would you really want to hang out with you consistently? That will eventually get a dull and boring. I want to hang with someone who may encourage me to step out of my comfort zone. In the beginning of making new friends in NYC adventure, I stepped out of my comfort zone by joining a Women’s Young Professional Networking group, a group learning session about behavioral skills, started going to SoulCycle, and went to a few free seminars. Not only did I meet people at those places, but it was an icebreaker in circumstances where I would not have struck up a conversation in the past.
- Take Initiative: It may be uncomfortable, but you may need to take the first step and ask someone out on a friendship date! Trade those digits and then grab some coffee, a cocktail, or a walk around the park. Both have dogs? Go on a walk! Like SoulCycle? Go to a class together.
- Balance: Remember that it’s okay to say no and/or cancel plans. You need to take care of yourself and your wellbeing first. If you’re tired, overwhelmed, need a self-care night, or are just wiped out of socializing – thats totally okay!
Image: Susan Tobey White